Since I'm not a particularly picky friend, I'm gonna assume this theme is about relationship dealbreakers. I'm sure there are many relationship dealbreakers out there, but these are my top five. Here goes:

1. Dishonesty/ Not open to communication 

How else are we suppose to figure out our issues? If you need some time, let me know that you need to sort things out within yourself, and I'll respect that you need to be left alone for a while. Don't simply close up and sweep the issues under the carpet. Our relationship will never work out if you are consistently unhappy, but refuse to tell me what is annoying you. And if you wait until six months later to unload all your resentment on me, sorry I've had enough and I'm out, because why didn't you want to iron things out at that moment in time?

 2. Not being able to handle finances

I don't want to wonder how we're going to save up for an apartment while he is busy purchasing the newest iPad when he's got every single older model lying around in his room. I don't need to eat at fancy restaurants all the time, I don't need expensive gifts every monthsary, I just need you to show me that you'll pay the bill on time instead of splurging on the 20th new-phone-of-the-year. I guess it also shows the lack of responsibility, or even worse, the lack of a brain.

3. Lacks ambition

I'm a female, I need to feel like my partner is able to provide for the family. So if you cannot see where you wanna go in 5 years time and lack the drive to work hard for a decent lifestyle, then it's hard for me to picture a future together with you. I'm just not the type of girl who's prepared to ride it out without being able to what's ahead of me, and I'd hate for my partner to be this way because it makes me feel so insecure.

4. Being possessive

I'm not sure if it's me being an Aquarius obsessing over my ~space and freedom~, but I think I abhor possessiveness a lot more than the next girl. I absolutely cannot stand it when my guy gets possessive in the slightest way, especially if it's a new relationship that cannot be compared to my friendships that have been forged since almost forever. I understand and even appreciate the occasional jealousy, and I'd try my best to reassure my guy (hang out in groups instead of one-one-one, less physical affection like hugs, etc.), but I expect him to not suffocate me. Once I feel like he's gonna make me choose between him whom I've dated for a while and my buddies whom I've known for most of my life, I'm gonna drop him.

5. Awful sex

That douchebag who never agrees to explore what you wanna try, yet is unwilling to accept a "I'm not ready for that yet" for those you're hesitant about. Or that scumbag who provides zero foreplay, doesn't see a point in kissing you, and won't even bother looking at you. Or even that asswipe who sees only boobs and ass and vagina, and makes you gag. (I'm not even sure if I intended the pun, it just rolled off my tongue fingers.) Basically, no girl deserves to be stuck with a guy who makes every sex feel like bad sex. I guess from here you can tell my view about PMS.

I've been told it's odd that cheating, one of the most common dealbreakers, isn't one of my top five. To be frank, I don't totally believe in faithfulness, I think people just don't (allow themselves to) get tempted enough. I'm not saying I will cheat, or I will expect my partner to cheat; I'm just saying there's always a chance that anyone will experience infidelity. If he still wants me back, I might just take him back, which is why this is not in my top five. It's not the smartest thing to do, but it's something that I will very likely do. Conversely, if my relationship ends, it's not because I was butthurt at being cheated on, but because I don't need a guy whose heart is no longer with me. I just expect honesty over loyalty, y'know? Like if there's a girl coming into the picture, prepare me as soon as you can, and you can be with her without having to cheat on me. Or else it will get messy for her and you and me, when it doesn't have to be that way. You get what I mean? I'm not even sure if I make sense right now, but yea, that's just what I think.

I have rambled far too much now... But there you go, my top five dealbreakers!

Labels: author: madeleine, lists, love and relationships, themed entries, thoughts out loud