I posted on love languages sometime ago, you can find it here on my wordpress. Almost a year on, and I think nothing much has changed. One quote about love languages that struck me ever since I saw it at some workshop essentially said this (cannot remember the exact phrasing): don't treat people the way you would want them to treat you. Treat them the way they would want to be treated! And it was also about getting to know other people's love languages, and expressing your love to them in the way they would like it expressed. Pretty much what Ji Inn was saying in her entry on Appreciation.

I just took the love languages quiz a few minutes ago and this is my score:

Some questions were hard to answer because I didn't like both answers but I guess this is about as close as it gets with a standard test.

Quality Time. As I went through the questions, I could already guessed this would come out tops. Perhaps is something that I have come to value more and more as my time gets more scarce in a busy schedule, and as I realise that I do enjoy the company of people a lot. In the end it's the connection between people that I really like - feeling understood when the other person expresses the same sentiments, exchanging views and engaging one another on a topic, or sharing experiences in a space that has become comfortable. 

Receiving Gifts. Actually I am most happy when people give me gifts that show they 'get' me, and I feel understood.  I think everybody likes to feel that way - receiving a gift that is thoughtful and unique to your character celebrates your individuality. 2 gifts that I remember: the dayspring calendar from a JC friend.


He gave it to me as a birthday present earlier this year. The greatest gifts are the ones that surprise you (in a good way), and this was one of them in the sense that I wouldn't have thought to buy it for myself, but I realised that it captures the essence of my character so well.

The other one is from Ji Inn. I still remember when she first gave it to me, she was very mysterious about it and was saying she wasn't sure if I could carry it home. That made me curious about what she could possibly have gotten me haha. It's this painting she bought, the reindeer with a bird perched on its antler. People always ask me if I painted it when they see it in my room. I've always wanted one of these paintings, but just never wanted to spend on it for myself. I love the colour and painting :)


Words of Affirmation Words are naturally important to me since I like reading and writing so much. It's the best way I can find to express myself. Words of affirmation are not as important to me as just well, words. I prefer long letters to gifts because I like to hear people's thoughts, especially those of friends, because it helps me get to know them better and it tells me what they're thinking. I think it's one of those times where you assume that people do the same thing you do, and I assume that people are the most honest in their letters since I am most honest in mine.

Physical Touch The only thing I can think of in relation to this is my hug-a-friend day thing which I haven't done in a while. With close friends, I tend to hug them when we meet up/part at the end of our meet-up..I don't know, tight hugs with these friends make me feel loved and thankful for them, and express how I feel about them.

Acts of Service Most of the time when people do me favours, I feel indebted to them. So actually this isn't the best way to show concern for me. I have very high expectations of myself in wanting to thank every single person who has helped me, repay the debt in some way etc etc. Even though I know that it shouldn't be that way (because love isn't transactional), I still get the nagging feeling if someone is too nice to me and does a lot more for me than I do in return.  Yup and I find that as you grow older and your friends network expands, it's harder to keep this up. But it doesn't take away the guilt.

That said, I appreciate all the help my friends give, and I wish people (including myself) would show more compassion towards the people around them in terms of just helping someone they see in need carry bags, open the door, or run an errand.

Sometimes I think it's quite amazing that people can get together despite their different love languages (since they probably wouldn't be aware of each other's unless they take the test...), and how the whole chemistry has to click between 2 people for them to fall and stay in love. That's the cool thing about love - getting through the misunderstandings and differences.

A random but related quote (and cute picture!):



Have a lovely week! :)

Labels: author: stella, themed entries